Why Jens Peters is ‘never not [thinking about] running’
Substacker Jens chronicles how our sport can be a double-edged sword, but remains “beautiful” nevertheless
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Running: It’s complicated.
There is a largely welcome school of thought when it comes to the sport that says it is good for your mental health.
Running gets you out into nature. It produces endorphins. You get fitter and healthier. Perhaps you join a running club, and meet like-minded people.
All these things are true. But as so often in life, truth comes with nuance.
Runners are as prone to over-thinking as anyone else, they obsess over the latest trainers, their times or whether parkrun was right to change the rules over dogs and leads.
On other occasions, runners may use the sport to escape from problems in their life. While time out pounding the pavement may ease the mind, it doesn’t necessarily get to the core of an issue.
In short, running is not a panacea.
‘The painful blister of mental health’
This double-edged nature of the sport is eloquently expressed in a newsletter on this very site.
Jens Peters’ Substack page, ‘never not [thinking about] running’ brilliantly outlines his complex relationship with running.
Chronicling his ups and downs with the sport, Jens - from Münster in the west of Germany - reveals how while he has been lacing up his running shoes on an almost daily basis over the past nine years, his "mental health has been the little stone in my shoe that's barely noticeable on the short run, but has caused a painful blister after a long run".
The searingly honest newsletter is a fascinating insight into how the sport can be both a vital support and a flimsy crutch which runners can become overly dependent on.
While running has given him a place to feel free, it has also become a too constant companion as he admits to spending large amounts of time worrying about previous runs and what comes next in his training plan.
He told Running Tales that writing has been part of his life since 2000 when he used to blog about football.
He said: “This time it's a bit different, because it's a very personal topic - mental health - and not everyone is open to talk about it.
“But it has been a topic for me for a lot of years and I have got used to talking about it.”
Jens’ mental health issues came to the fore in 2018, when he suffered what he calls a “burnout”.
Feeling depressed and over-burdened, Jens said he had felt constantly tired for months on end.
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Although he was already a runner, Jens was advised to do more sport to help him “clear your head”. But he told Running Tales that while running was an integral part of his life, at that time he struggled to embrace it.
He said: “What happens is, you're already tired, then people tell you go for a run, and you get more and more tired, because running is obviously tiring.
“So in these situations, it doesn't make you feel better. And that's that's main issue with burnout.
“It could be that the situation for a person who's got burnout gets worse and worse. And that's what it was like for me.”
Jens said he went through weeks when he “was very frightened, I had anxiety, I had panic attacks.
“And the more tired you are, the more often these situations appear. So when I was going for a run, then the likeliness of getting a panic attack increased.
“Usually, running is something which is very beautiful. I get a lot of freedom from running. But in those times, when I had burnout, it was more the opposite.”
These days, Jens’ mental health is much improved but running can still prompt uneasy feelings.
He told the Running Tales Podcast that he regularly questions how he is feeling physically and mentally, and how that relates to his running.
It is these feelings that prompted the name of his ‘never not [thinking about] running’ Substack.
Jens said he is keen to use the newsletter to highlight issues around mental health and how anyone can be affected by it.
“There are phases where I've had a glimpse of that burnout again, that's always a problem for me,” he said. “I have to be careful.
“But my overall condition is much, much better. And I've got professional help and help from friends and family.
“And so in most cases, running is not a problem. But there are there are still times when I'm going for certain goals, when it is.”
A 5k success story and mental blocks with long races:
Jens’ running has seen him hit a 5k personal best of 17:32, despite his having recently turned 47.
But it is the challenge of approaching races over longer distances that has proved to be a barrier for him.
Earlier this year, Jens entered the Trail Alsace Grand Est, a 34km (21 mile) UTMB event that winds past castles and through vineyards in France’s Alsace region.
Despite undertaking a rigorous training regime, Jens said the pressure to take on such an event took its toll on him.
“It was the shortest distance available, 34k and 1,400 meters vertical, so a piece of cake for some other people,” he said, playing down the difficulty of what is a taxing trail run.
“I've got no problems with doing heavy exercise, especially for the shorter distances, but I think that my body is more used to that.
“I can do heart interval sessions and all those things. But as soon as I'm doing more long runs, my body has to adapt and I think my physical abilities in that area are very, very small.”
Jens said any mental health blocks he might face appear “much faster” when he is facing the challenges longer training runs bring, than during interval workouts.
“I've got no problem doing a 20 or 30k run during training, but I don't have a lot of them in me,” he said.
“I'm not allowed [by my mind] to do it that often.”
Also on Running Tales:
If Jens’ battles with long runs - at one stage of our interview he tells me he’s going to give up on his goal to complete a longer race, but by the end of it he is once again considering the possibility - might suggest an unhealthy relationship with the sport, it’s worth returning to our starting point.
Running. It’s complicated.
For every moment spent worrying about the sport, there are far more moments where it fills Jens’ life with joy.
“Most of the times running is the most beautiful thing on earth, there's nothing better,” he said.
“I always talk to my therapist about running. And she always lightens up because she can see that I'm lightening up and getting much, much more positive.
“It helps a lot in processing things in my life, at work, with my family. And I think most people know that running is a good way to process things.
“I really looking forward to the end of the day, because I know I can go for a run - especially at this time of the year.
“I love the summer, I can go out and run for hours.
“I can do nearly everything when I'm running. So it's very freeing. I can go to the top of the mountain, I've got no problems with that, and then have nature around me.
“I love exploring my community. It’s so enlightening.
“If I'm not in that burnout phases, running is always great.”
If you enjoy this article, check out some of the inspirational running stories on this newsletter and subscribe to make sure you never miss another article.
thanks for the profile, I like Jens' newsletter a lot!
Superb read.