Why combating PTSD was a greater running achievement than beating Scott Jurek
Fell runner Colin Kirk-Potter was shocked to pass ultra legend Jurek at UTMB - but running has brought him wider joy
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Not many runners can rank beating ultra legend Scott Jurek among their list of results.
But for Colin Kirk-Potter, it doesn’t even come close to being his most important running accomplishment.
That’s because the fell runner and former Royal Marine credits the sport with helping him cope with PTSD - the result of his time serving in Afghanistan.
When he left the Marines, Colin found himself drinking heavily and getting into fights to numb his “dark thoughts”.
It was returning to running, a sport he has a lifelong association with, that helped Colin get back on track.
Born to fell run:
Born and bred on the edge of the Peak District, and in an area where there was very little public transport, Colin had been destined to become a long-distance runner.
“Learning to ride a bike was a death wish,” he said. “Everything was up or downhill, so it was a case of getting to the bus stop for school or running to school so you could save 50p.”
His first race was a four mile fun run, which he entered on the advice of a family friend. School cross-country followed and when he decided his future was in the Marines, fitness - and running - became compulsory habits.
Colin was even pulled out of basic training to run for the Royal Navy, but the extra stone-and-a-half in weight he had gained on exercises meant he “didn’t do very well”.
But there were plenty of opportunities to keep training and to run, and despite bulking up he continued to represent the Navy.
‘Passing Scott Jurek just doesn’t happen’:
It also allowed him time while on leave to take part in huge races like the Bob Graham Round and the Ultra-Trail du Mont-Blanc (UTMB), where he found himself lining up alongside Scott Jurek.
A modest Colin told the Running Tales Podcast that finishing ahead of Jurek at the 2008 edition of UTMB came “by default really.
“I overtook him coming down into Courmayeur, where I saw my family and had a bit of a panic.
“I said, I think I'm going too fast. But they went, no, you're doing fine. I said, no, I've just seen Scott Jurek and I've gone past him, and that doesn't happen.
“But I’ve since found out that he had a bit of a fall, and he's got a picture in his book of him with a massive gash on knee, with blood running down it.
“The race isn’t even in his results [Jurek eventually dropped out due to the knee injury]. I think he just writes it off as one of those bad days.
“So, I lucked out really on his bad day. Any racer can beat anyone on the day. It was a bit of a bonus really.”
Colin said he had been persuaded to enter UTMB by a former coach, who he had run iconic races such as The Fellsman with.
That led to running the Bob Graham Round, and eventually the pair of them - along with a third friend - had earned enough qualification points to head to the Chamonix, where the fabled race starts.
Racing a ‘plucky little Spaniard’:
“It was a lot easier to enter then,” Colin said, “you just had to get the points.
“We trained quite hard and it was a bit of an adventure really. I was still serving as a Royal Marine then and got some time off, and then just enjoyed the journey.”
He said early in the race most of the competitors were running through the streets using poles in preparation for the inclines, something he had never done.
“It was a bit weird running through the streets of Chamonix with everybody click-clacking around with poles, and there was me in just a pair of Brooks trail shoes.
“But it was just amazing. I had no expectation of doing that well. I just wanted to get round really.”
In fact, despite eventually finishing what is now one of the world’s best known ultra races, Colin hadn’t even heard of UTMB before he entered.
It was the victory of Spanish legend Kílian Jornet that year which helped to propel ultra running and all things Chamonix into people’s consciousness.
Scott remembers “this plucky little Spaniard right at the front, bouncing around, and he set off like he was running a 10k.
“I got myself quite near the front. I’d got delusions of grandeur I think, but nobody saw this chap again and obviously he won it. That was the start of things to come.”
Life in a green suit:
Away from taking on the world’s best, Colin continued to run as much as he could.
He even managed to maintain his running after he was posted in Afghanistan, marking out a 50 metre stretch of sand and running up and down it.
“I just used to just put headphones in and run up and down there and aim to do 5k in as quick a time possible,” Colin said.
“I was running up and down this line in the sand, just to pass the time.
“I had visions of actually entering races when I got back, and thought, well, I need to stay fit, and still have some sense of normality.”
Colin said while life in the Royal Marines had many highs, it came with obvious pressures.
“As we used to say, it's life in a green suit,” he said.
“If you're allergic to chocolate, don't work in a chocolate factory. You know what you're signing up for.
“That said, nothing prepares you. And I used to be an instructor. My final draft was as an instructor in the Royal Marines.
“And you can prepare these youngsters, and recruits, to be their best, but until the rounds start flying around and then somebody gets hit, or there's an IED as was the case in Afghanistan, you can only prepare them so well.
“Training just kicks in. It's the aftermath that’s the thing.
“And my last tour was a little bit different because home life was a bit difficult. I was 40 years old by that time. And it hits home when you start to think it's actually time to get out.
“I think climbers have said the same sort of thing. They're okay to a point, but as soon as they've got family responsibility, they can't push the envelope as much as they used to.
“So, things changed after that for me.”
Pints and punches - textbook PTSD:
When Colin’s time with the Marines ended, he found it hard to settle into civilian life.
He said: “The mistake I made is that when I came back, I didn't run.
“I thought the right thing to do was just get drunk and have a poor opinion of everybody.
“So I used to go into the local town and pick a fight, basically. Until my wife said, no, you're textbook PTSD.
“There’s a lot of people still struggling. I was flagged up really early, so I was able to be pointed in the right direction.”
Colin said early diagnosis is only part of the process of recovery: “You have to want to engage.
“I had a family and wife. I needed to engage or lose all that.
“I was fortunate. I know there's still people from conflicts, not just Afghanistan, who are still struggling - going right back to the Falklands, and maybe before.
“People who have not managed to get help or not found the right channels.”
Colin said he still doesn’t like running with music as his mind will wander “into dark places”.
Instead, he engages with whatever environment he is in, concentrating on technical inclines and declines or whatever other challenges the fells present him with.
“That occupies your mind and you switch off from the rest of the world,” he said. “It gives you a release.
“Running, is my medicine of choice, and if I'm running, it does help.
“Some people cycle, some people drink. Whatever it is, running is just my way of dealing with it because it never goes away.
“There was a really good interview with Liam Gallagher on the radio, a long time ago, and he runs, and he said when he wakes up, he either goes for a run or drinks ten cans of Stella.
“So he makes a choice, and inevitably, he's running. I think it's very relatable and it's very easy to do. You just go out your front door, turn left, run for a bit, turn around, come back.
“But it does help. I do it more as a spiritual thing now, which is quite weird to say as a former Royal Marine.
“But that's where my running journey has taken me.”
Can’t run? - Then write about running:
Colin said the biggest issue he faces now is the potential of having to stop running.
“Inevitably, you pick up injuries, or life gets in the way, and you can't run,” he said.
“Your schedule goes out of the window, or you're following a training program and you can't run.
“Obviously, that addiction then rears its head and it becomes a bit of an issue. I found if I can't run for injury or family commitments or work commitments, et cetera, then I write.
“I just write loads of notes down.”
During the coronavirus pandemic, Colin’s need to write even turned itself into a book - about running, of course.
“It's still that medicine,” he said. “The actual act of putting one foot in front of the other, I might not be able to do.
“But if I can still focus on it, look at different coaching techniques, look at different routes on an OS map or a Harvey map or whatever, and then actually write about it, that still gives me my outlet.
“Otherwise, it'd be very easy just to sink into a bottle or into a path of self destruction.”
Also on Running Tales:
The book Colin wrote was a guide to the fell and trail runs that can be found in Dartmoor - a move which saw him fall out with a few friends who accused him of giving away the secrets of their favourite runs.
Called ‘Dartmoor Trail and Fell Running: 31 Great Runs,’ the guidebook is aimed at encouraging people to explore what is the least visited national park in the country.
“Dartmoor is a massive untapped resource,” he said.
“It's got legends like the Hairy Hands, and obviously The Hound of the Baskervilles.
“A lot of people just turn up and have an ice cream, then go but there’s 365 square miles of it, virtually on tap.
“You can go for a run at any time of the day to some really remote areas and not see a soul for hours, which is great.
“Probably the book is not really helping that, but it is quite niche. It’s some trail runs and some fell.
“I've set up my own grading system, so if I've classed it as fell, then there's not really a path and you've got to have some navigational skills, whereas if it's on trail it tends to be on decent tracks and paths and there's enough footpath signposts and landmarks to get round.”
Colin, though, is quick to admit that the national park can be unforgiving, particularly in bad weather.
“It all looks the same. It's not like Snowdonia where there's a cafe on the top.
“But it is beautiful. Dartmoor is somewhere I'd encourage the top fell runners and recreational runners in the country to come to visit and actually explore.
“It's completely different. I've got the South Downs just up the road from where I am now, and that's teaming with runners, whereas I can run out on Dartmoor and not see anybody.
“It’s great for the soul.”
Who needs Chamonix?
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